Love Thyself...

Leo Tolstoy said - "If one has no vanity in this life of ours
there is no sufficient reason for living"
And at first glance that quote does not make sense
But think of it this way...
In order to love those around us we first need to love ourselves!
Giving ourselves unconditional love makes it easier
to extend compassion to those around us
In fact... we should be "vain" in our self love as Tolstoy suggests

And then... and only then will we be more accepting of others
and even find it easier to be more tolerant of them

Because lets face it...
sometimes it is so hard loving those who hurt us...
And people who love themselves are less inclined to be
hurtful to others around them...

Dreams are good Friends...

As I have said before - our desires and dreams act as fuel
They thrust us toward new horizons
Without having something to strive for
we get stuck in ruts because we are
unsure of what to do next...

Goals are the dreams that we are willing to work for
When we set goals and write them down
we take responsibility for our lives
Even if we only take small steps
we are actively pursuing our goals
just daydreaming about them will get us nowhere
and having goals that we have written down
make us feel good because it adds a sense of purpose
and direction to our lives...

Putting Pen to Paper...

I have plans
in fact.... I'm always planning and scheming
But I have found when I think about my plans
without sitting down to put pen to paper
the ideas just seem to float around in my head
and nothing happens...

Being clear about my objectives help me stay focused
I find that I have to set aside time to create a clear plan
and assess all my options

It’s good to write things down so you don’t overlook anything
And once the list is complete
I take time to consider the possibilities
and drawbacks of each choice so that I can determine
where I should focus my attention

Look before you leap.... we are always told
Having a clear idea of what we want in life...
considering all the possibilities open to us...
and then making a decision
can make a big difference in our efforts

When Opportunity Knocks...

Yesterday I read a blog where a young lady
expressed her frustration about not getting the break she needs
"What do I do to let people notice my potential" she said

I fully understand her frustration
but we are co-creators of our destiny I believe
and I believe that our job is to be prepared when opportunity knocks
We need to be at the right place
at the right time
with the right equipment
if we want to make things happen for us

And not every opportunity is our opportunity either...
But we cannot sit back and hope something will drop into our lap...
Also... we never know who we are going to meet next
The very next person we talk to could be
our ticket to an exciting future
Will you be ready for your opportunity?

Someone once said...
“It’s better to be prepared for an opportunity
and not have one, than to have an opportunity
and not be prepared.”

We all need to be ready when our opportunity knocks...

One Step at a Time...

It is only when we are willing to listen to our self
and be fearless
that figuring out our next step becomes easy...

Underneath the fear, hesitation and uncertainty
lies our inner knowing that always knows
which step we need to take next...

Our lives are made up of a network of pathways
that we can choose to move from one phase of our lives to the next...
Some of us have smooth clearly marked paths
While others have more difficulty in seeing their way clearly

But ultimately we always know whats right for us
only we know which path to choose
but we need to tune into our inner voice
Our inner council...
And THAT...
is the difficult part

We need to make time for ourselves
we need to be still and tune in to our inner council
our little voice
our dreams
our passions
because those are the things that light up the way of our paths in life...

Wise Words...

“A man must be big enough to admit his mistakes

smart enough to profit from them

and strong enough to correct them”

- Anonymous

Gratitude...

One of the things in life I have lots of difficulty with
as a result from my childhood sexual abuse is TRUST...
and I find that I often second guess peoples motive
when they do something for me...

"What do they want from me" is always my first reaction
I have to consciously take a step back from those thoughts and
remind myself that I no longer need to "protect"
myself from people... and that those close and dear to me
offer support that is given with complete love
without expecting anything in return
They help me for no other reason
simply because of the intensity of their caring

And I have found that
giving words of thanks in a heartfelt manner
is one of the best ways to return their kindness
I have to connect with the energy of my heart
when I convey my gratitude
and I have to accept in the same way
in which I have received the gifts
—without expecting anything in return

Saying thanks from my heart is the only way I am able to
let my loved ones know the true depth of my appreciation

And there is so much I need to be grateful for in my life...

Positive Reactions...

We cannot control what other people do
but it is very important to recognize that we
have control over our reactions to situations

When we hold onto the actions of others
we are reacting in a way that is neither positive nor healthy

When we have control over ourselves
there is no way others can control us
and by learning how to react to others in a positive way
we will feel a greater sense of self-empowerment...

Our Actions Speak Louder...

Why is it that sometimes when someone wants something
their actions seem to tell a different story?
It's like when someone wants better health
but they end up working too hard and not having time for gym...

Someone else might want a loving relationship
but instead they spends most evenings watching television...
Another person may want their own business
but they end up staying in a job that's safe....

Unconscious motivations drive behavior
It's not that they are not motivated –
it's just that their motivation is pushing them in a different direction

So how do we fix that?

We have to become aware of those unconscious motivations
and of what's really driving our life
Then we have to rid ourselves of old limiting beliefs
that are keeping us from our true desires

Only when we are in that new space of clarity and freedom
are we able to allow new possibilities to emerge in our lives

Crunch Time...

We were all born for a purpose

that the world desperately needs us to fulfil

Each and every one of us...

But so many of us sit around wondering and asking

"What is my purpose?"

"Why am I here on this earth?"

"Why am I suffering so much?"

The big thing however is -

We need to show up

We need to get off our behinds and start doing

what we were born to do..

(And if you by now have still not figured that out then contact me...)

We need to stop making excuses

We need to stop blaming others or our circumstances

We need to find our passion

and stop doing what we hate

and begin doing what we love

The power to change is in our hands...

It is merely a decision away...

Pity Party

We all have days when the bad things seem to outweigh the good ones
and we begin to think that life is not fair...

We begin to feel like the victim destined for a terrible life
and most of the thoughts that run through our mind
at that stage are not helpful
and they mainly make us feel even worse
and powerless

When I have a terrible day
I make sure I find some time and place to
wallow in my feelings so I can process them
I find that it's very important not to pretend that I am fine
when I am not...
It is very necessary to fully express my emotions
and not feel guilty... or ashamed...
I also find that it helps when I write down my feeling

A definite no-no is to dwell on unpleasant experiences
and avoid holding on to negative emotions
When we indulge in self-pity we only make a bad day worse
My advice is to stop feeling sorry for yourself
get rid of the idea that you are a victim
and focus the good that exists in your life....

Monday Motivator...

"The secret of making something work in your lives is,
first of all, the deep desire to make it work;
then the faith and belief that it can work;
then to hold that clear definite vision in your consciousness
and see it working out step by step,
without one doubt or disbelief."
- Eileen Caddy

Beneath the Surface...

I believe strongly that everything we need to be
successful and happy lies within...
But often...
life’s debris accumulates...
building layers around our true authentic self
and this makes it difficult to access the truth that is within us all

One blockage that stops us from going beneath
the surface is our mind - we worry about stuff that is essentially
non important...
We spend more time getting our to do list done
and very little time on just being...

Another blockage to our core is our hearts...
Here we harbour all our past hurts and disappointments
And these prevent us from looking deep within...

We need to be able to deal with those layers
in order to get to our core...
our true essence...
if ever we wish to live a life of success and happiness...

I watched Oprah today...

And I had a bit of an Aha-moment...
The wheel turned so to speak...

The topic was Spirituality
and one of her guest -
a Man of the Cloth I must add - said
"Being gay is a gift from God"
And being Catholic I initially had major guilt issues
about my sexuality...
But I eventually figured out that I was happy and content
being who and what I was...

But never had I thought of it as a "gift"
and it so clearly is...
because I probably would never had spent so much time
trying to figure out what life and human beings are all about
had it not been for my sexuality...

The Wise One had a plan...

Ignorance is Bliss...

There are many things in life that I do not know

and there are many things I have no interest in finding out

I have found that when I admit that I don't know something

I open myself up to the opportunity to learn something new

Let's face it...

We can’t possibly know everything

And when we think we do

we are limiting ourselves...

Stopping ourselves from growing and learning more

Someone who can admit to not knowing

is definitely more confident than someone

who pretends to know everything...

They also tend to be more comfortable

with who they are and don’t feel the need to bluff

or cover up any perceived ignorance

Just be yourself...

Food For Thought...

This is a picture I took of one of my dessert plates on Christmas Day
Yes... ONE of the plates...
I had several
And as a result - I've decided to join Oprah
on yet another quest to loose weight

And this time around
both Oprah and I
should give ourselves the love we are craving
instead of stuffing our faces with food -
That's what Bob Green says...

But Bob Green has never been fat...
so what does he know?

I think I have figured this fat thing out though...

When one looses weight the fat is "ejected"
for want of a better word from your fat cells
But the fat cells remain...
the body can never get rid of a fat cell - that's a fact!

and so... when you are not looking
they - the fat cells - suck up every ounce of fat that enters your mouth
and sometimes when you just look at a chocolate bar
the fat is absorbed through your eyeballs

And when you smell your favourite food being cooked
your nose absorbs the fat and deposits it into your fat cells

I know this to be true because I'm not a big eater
I promise...
except for special occasions...
like Christmas lunch...
But come January -
and I have to go on yet another diet...

Oprah... help... please!!!!!